Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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