I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
