i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
