I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
