Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize