I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
