I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
