It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize