You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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