he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
