she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This baby is an asshole
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
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I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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