Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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