wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
