i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i believe in u and ur pee
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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