Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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