even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
