Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Less talking, more tequila
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
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Found the puke drawer
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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