I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize