Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
