I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
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i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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