nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
