We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
