So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
