What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize