It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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