my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
