Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
