I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
