I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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