They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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