Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
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Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
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Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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