Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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