i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you had me at cake vodka
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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