The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize