How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
