Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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