Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.