hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What's dad's email?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?