my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Don't make out with my wife yet
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog