terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
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Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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