her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize