Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
