Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
