lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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