i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
