is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
