We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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