Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
