Is it normal to miss your booty call?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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