I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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