ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize