I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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