I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
