shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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