I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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