Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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