dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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